Did You Need A Reason To Hate The Dutch Government? I Got One.

Every so often I like to brush up on my current events over in the Netherlands and today I struck gold. The Dutch government wants to ban the sale and cultivation of all hallucinogenic mushrooms. You can't ban a vegetable! I don't care what the effects are. Click to read more about these produce hating fascists

I don't see what makes them so high and mighty - what have they contributed to global society? Tulips, windmills, stupid shoes and a slightly above average consumer following at Save-A-Lot grocery stores. I'm sorry but you can't trade these:

For These:


You can't take away shrooms!!! You know how much time I've passed watching my best friends tripping out on those things? If there is anything that beats taking mushrooms (and I wouldn't know because yours truly has never touched a drug in her life) then it has to be watching people take them. I have memories and stories that will stay with me for life. Mushrooms have given me so much. One of the best stories I've ever heard was mushroom related - my dear friend baby Niks was minding her own business tripping out on the couch when the pine needles that had fallen off of her Christmas tree got up and started chasing her. One couldn't possibly go through that with out the aid of the active shroom ingredient psilocybin sinking into their brains - sure she's been traumatized and she won't ever touch the stuff again - but that's a gem of a story and I'm keeping it with me the rest of my life.

I also witnessed a chick I knew in high school trip out on them in her front yard, oddly enough, it was an oak tree that was chasing her, but that my friends, is for another time.

I don't suppose anyone has given any thought as to what the ramifications of this ban are going to hold for the Smurfs:

That's right. Homeless Smurfs....you bastards.

....not to mention - if I'm not allowed to take mushrooms while I'm watching the Smurfs, how exactly am I supposed to understand the messages they are sending me to overthrow the government? They don't just scream the instructions out loud, and I need the aid of shrooms to help me de-code that shit.

With the tools I need slowly being taken away from me by the governmental systems all around the world, this revolution of mine sure is going to take awhile. Well played dutchbags.....I'll see you in hell.