Girl Scout Finds A Great Way To Sell More Cookies. Girl Scouts Of America Find A Way To Crap All Over Her Idea.

 "Oh no they didn't" probably best explains it.

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Banning the Sales of Girl Scout Cookies Online

Look - I view the Girl Scouts of America as most people do:

Cold-blooded confectionery capitalist cookie sadists.

I can't even tell you how many times a year I get bullied by a troop at my front door in the early spring, or worse, some obnoxious over eager mother at work who pulls the classic:

"Don't feel obligated to buy from my daughter Sasha this year, I just brought in the form in case anybody wanted"

Don't fall for it, if you pass it up and don't put your name down for at least 2 boxes - you're officially on that bitch's black list for the remainder of the year. Buy a couple of Pnut Butter Patties and save yourself the wrath. For every box you buy it saves her a few pennies so she won't have to pay as much to send her daughter off to Girl Scout Camp that year.

Sidenote:
I've been to Girl Scout Camp. Camp Linden. I was sent away for 4 days where the main activities were horseback riding and swimming. It was a camp to learn how to do those exact two things.

1. The lake had been closed due to chemicals put in the lake to cure an algae bloom problem they were having. Never even got my feet wet.

2. The horse I got to ride (1 time) was about as tall as me, so if I tried hard enough I could practically touch the ground with my toes while riding the thing. We moved at a snails pace for about 30 min and so ended my overpriced boots n' bridles education.

3. The bugs were enormous, the chores sucked and the most mind blowing thing I got to do the entire time was tie-dye a towel.

Bastards.

"When 8-year-old Wild Freeborn became a Girl Scout earlier this year, she had a simple goal: sell 12,000 boxes of the organization's addictive cookies. She wanted to earn enough money to send her entire troop (all new scouts) to summer camp in Brevard, N.C."

Wait? Wild Freeborn? Christ, I could post an entire entry on that unfortunate name alone. I'm pressed for time so I'll allow it.

"In late January, they posted a YouTube video, starring Freeborn in Girl Scout gear, touting her straightforward sales pitch. "Buy cookies! And they're yummy!" Soon after, they set up an online order system that was limited to customers within their local area"

Sounds fine to me. Internet sales of these delicious cookies would be a god send.

A. You don't have to deal with the guilt if you don't buy from the girls when they come to your door.

B. You can order what you really want. No shame. I'm a Girl Scout cookie junkie, so you can basically triple what I mark down on those forms and that's what I actually want. I just don't want to be judged by the girls as a disgusting glutton-toting cookie pig.

It might look like all I want is this:

1 box of Lemonades

1 box of Thin Mints

1 box of Shortbreads

But if I had it my way:

Yea, that's me....right here...back it up! Those things aren't going to unload themselves hunny!

Of course someone, somewhere, somehow was going to bitch about what this girl did:

"If you have an individual girl that creates a Web presence, she can suck the opportunity from other girls," says Matthew Markie, a parent who remains involved in Girl Scouts even though his three daughters are well into their 20s.

Hello. Survival of the fittest. What are you trying to pull? Socialism for cookies? Who cares? The more she sells the better!

Besides - in this day in age, shouldn't we be discouraging adorable young girls in uniforms going door-to-door?

People will find any reason to bitch. Take, for example, a change that happened a few years back with these delicious bad boys:

^^All hail the mighty Samoa^^

This particular Girl Scout cookie has always been there for me. It's the best one out of the bunch and it's helped me through everything in life: Bad grades, break ups, abortions, and many other of life's little lessons that have befallen upon me.

They've recently changed the name of it to "Caramel Delights" . I know why - they probably thought it wasn't very politically correct to name a cookie after a Polynesian group. Eff that. Any race should be proud to have such a confection named as their representative.

Just think of the missed fun and opportunities for naming these cookies that were around in the 80's.

Giggles!

So many inappropriate ideas, so little webspace.....

No need to get upset over this Girl Scouts - just sell those things any way you know how. Let us live in love, peace and cookies!

It's what he would have wanted.