OMG! TXT ME!

Issue at hand:
The text message and it's enemies.

Beep Beep.

I don't understand the people who are angry with the idea of the text message. It's the perfect way to efficiently communicate with others. I always love it when I'm talking to someone and they pounce all over the texting system:

"I don't text - I prefer to communicate with people like an actual human being"

Yea, I'm sure they really look forward to your phonecalls. I bet they love the constant sound of that holier than thou voice of yours, you unfriendly condescending prick.

Now I'm not talking about the assfaces that use texting to break up with someone or even stab someone over it: Read it here. But if I want to tell the lucky guy that happens to be spending the night with me what kind of Ben & Jerry's to bring over - then you can bet I'm doing it via text.

"Need pint of B&J's Americone Dream + Lifestyles, ribbed"

Now before I make my closing statements I'll give the people who hate this technology a break:

Just recently 13 year old Morgan Pozgar won $25K by completely dominating the national text messaging competition last year. I know, I know, kind of puts my argument in massive flex.

"I am so shocked right now. I send over 4,000 texts every month and can't believe that I actually won the whole competition," said Pozgar in a statement. "Now I want to go shopping."

Four thousand texts a month? Good thing mini homeslice is getting money to use for college now because I'm going to bet some duckets that this girl isn't in the running for many academic scholarships. Put the phone down Morgan - get your homework done and reach your potential.

I once won $100 for college in a toddler photo contest @ K-Mart.

Suck it Pozgar. My adorable mug brings in the dough. Face beats thumbs.

Overall texting is a great idea. Who doesn't like getting a sweet little thinking of you text? or pulling the ultimate "can't call you, busy - talk to you tomorrow" blow off text? It's genius and makes all of our lives more simple.

I even got my mother on board with this texting business, though I somewhat regret it. She's recently discovered picture texting so whenever I send the lovely woman flowers I get a detailed hour-to-hour text on their progress via pictures. I have a respectable Blackberry phone, but one recent bouquet that I sent out has cost me the need for an additional memory card.

"Yes mom - the flowers look much better from photo texts 8, 9, & 10."

Don't hate on the text, it's an infamous tool that keeps us from actually having to look/speak to one another. The world will be a better place.