The right to blare your ipod so loud that I'm forced to listen to your shitty music.
The right to use those ridiculous super humongous $800 Bugaboo strollers to cart around your kid.
The right to watch VH1 reality shows - honestly - that shit is ruining your potential.
The right to eat heart-clogging, crap-hybrid foods. Please see below.
Taken from an article I stumbled upon the other day. It's a solid gold piece for a blog entry. Solid, fatty, salty, fried gold. Unusual Fair Food.
Let me walk you through this monstrosity of reprehensible cuisine:
Chicken-Fried Bacon
Remember the good old days? When chewing on one animal at a time was enough for anyone's meal? Not anymore! All I can think of when I see this is Water Retention. I can't even imagine the amount of sodium in those little fried floozies.
Fried Coca Cola
I get really excited when science is defied by certain food formulations.
Fried Frog Legs
Woah! Things just went from classy to super snazzy.
Frog Legs - not just for rich people anymore.
Deep-Fried Twinkies
"Abel Gonzalez Jr. won Most Creative for this concoction at the 2006 State Fair of Texas"
Well done. Hope that cash prize was a good one. That semester at Junior college ain't gonna pay for itself.Fried Frog Legs
Woah! Things just went from classy to super snazzy.
Frog Legs - not just for rich people anymore.
Deep-Fried Twinkies
Honestly - can we just make the symbol of our nation a giant deep fryer? It's obviously done more for us than that stupid Bald Eagle has.
Key Lime Pie on-a-stick
Geriatrics all over Florida are doing their happy dance. It's key lime pie dipped in chocolate. Fine. I'll allow it.
This one is really difficult for me to say with out giggling a bit:
Hot Beef Sundae
Now I hate to be unladylike but a "hot beef sundae" sounds like a sexual act that a drunken frat boy would commit on his girlfriend. I'm not quite sure what the act entails - but give me a few minutes. I'm sure I can come up with something good.
Krispy Kreme Chicken Sandwich
Oh. Come. The. Fuck. On.
How can you....why would you even.....who would ever...I can't even start to....I can't. I'm just too upset. I'm not dealing with this.
America: Simply Delicious.
Health Insurance Reform has never looked so tempting.
Health Insurance Reform has never looked so tempting.
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5 comments:
ummmmm....krispy kreme chicken sandwich. That's an agnostic vegetarian socialist joke right?
Great platform you got my vote!
Washington can stop someone from saying "shit" on the airwaves but won't remove the advertising crap from the airwaves. I've come to the conclusion that what ever America use to represent it's now all about greed and power. Even the children are expendable in the name of God Bless America. Side note:Your website has improved my eating habits :)
Totally off topic. Read the blog and clicked your twitter page and saw your tweet about greatest unhappiness #2. What's number one? I'd twitter back if I used twitter...
The hot beef sundae made me throw up in my mouth a little. Just came across your blog and love it.
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Taking aim at lousy advertising
LOL it was very funny I enjoyed it :) thanks for sharing you make my day ...I will keep visiting this blog very often.You're site cracks me up. I love this story. You are very talented with your writing.
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